Thursday, August 26, 2004

Bio-synthetic Human Optic Organ

He asked to return to work and in one week of working the technician’s supervisor logged a total of seventy-five level three, critical errors in the maintenance and repair procedures that one-eyed technician had carried out. The one-eyed technician was not informed of the documentation however and when he was queried about the errors he was very surprised to learn that these had been documented even though he had heard nothing from his supervisor in the past week regarding his “errors”. In fact the soop had praised his efforts in working so well even though he could only see with his right eye. Most of the errors documented were related to him lacking anymore depth of field and having obviously no vision left in his removed eye’s socket. The one eyed techy felt that someone higher up than the soop had decided he was a liability and so they would have to let him go. This was also the point at which the tech with lost vision and one good eye began to exhibit mild tendencies towards paranoia - tendencies which, according to his psychologist were “quite normal”. Lately however with the increase in the amount of stress in his life over loosing first an eye then being deliberately let go from his job for his loss of vision began to have “tendencies towards paranoia” with ever increasing more frequency. So much so that his drinking buddies began to worry about him, even going to the extent of suggesting to him that he might be better off seeing a professional about these tendencies.
Instead of going to a professional, the techy, in his situation of lost vision and without a job to keep up the bills paying, the one-eyed technician got himself a mal practise lawyer and sued Dr. Everet Fredric the ninth, the man that had given him a second chance – though it was experimental - at seeing things normally again, for mal practise. In the one week critical period it took for the synthetic optic organ to grow itself onto the remnants of optic muscle and what was left over from the one-eyed technician’s optic nerve the one-eyed technician was advised to move his normal eye and his patched new eye very little – he was advised to stay at home for a week and watch a lot of TV. Being a strongheaded technician and an eternal optimist, he decided, against Doctor’s orders, to travel to Fort Langley, BC to visit one of his drinking buddies, who had also been laid off from Lockheed recently. Fort Langley is at sea level. Exacerbating matters for him, the full week that he spent in Fort Langely, an immovable and unusual high pressure area settled in on Canada’s west coast. Barometric pressure jumped to 33.31 inches of mercury and remained there for the full week. The one-eyed technician told his drinking buddy that he had a pretty bad headache so his drinking buddy went to his mom’s bedroom, lifted up his mom’s mattress, took out a nice hand-rolled marijuana joint and offered it to the one-eyed technician. After smoking it he told his friend he felt much less pain and thought no further about the headache. In the mean time, the experimental bio-synthetic human optic organ failed to attach itself well to the remnants of the optic muscles and what was left of the one-eyed technician’s optic nerve. The experimental bio-synthetic human optic organ was rejected under the unusually high pressure of Earth’s atmosphere at sea level in Fort Langley BC that week.

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